Packing
I have rediscovered that I dislike packing immensely!
It is not the physical nature of the process, not the organisation structure that needs to be in place, not having help (though I have plenty of offers), not having enough boxes, etc.......it is the emotional rollercoaster that you hop onto when you decide to uproot yourself and move on.
This is a very big step for me.....I am going from being comfortable and familiar to the unknown....the only thing that I know is that my family is there so I have that support, but everything else is a very big step.....I have an extremely low self-esteem and low self confidence so this is a chance for me to start afresh and grow as a person and move forward......but still.....
Anyways packing and the emotional rollercoaster - going through all your possessions it brings up a lot of happy and sad memories.......can you believe I found assignments from highschool, what is with that, why do I still have them.....I found some treasured photos and jewelry that I thought I had lost......I also came across stuff that reminded me of different thing that have happened in my life, some that were not too pleasant.....I started thinking what do I get rid of and what do I keep......do I really truly need this???? It was like I was throwing a part of me away, but at other times it was quite cleansing......
Over the past few days I have changed my mind so many times about this move and new job that yesterday morning I decided nope that is it I am going to call up my old work (boy that sounds odd I only left there on Friday) and beg for my old job back and things can go back to normal and I can go back to my secure little existence.....and then the phone rang......
It was my sister and she was saying are you excited, how did it feel this morning to get up and not go to work and I grumbled back that I am still working my butt off packing and she goes I know - it is an awful job, remember that I did it less than a year ago. Then she says that someone wants to talk to you and it was my 2 and half year old niece Hailie - and she goes Hi Auntie Carolyn and chatters away - I picked up a word or two to be able to follow what she was trying to say (she has moved from 2 worded sentences to three worded sentences now - very cute) and then she was handing the phone back and goes love you and then says see Carolyn soon and my heart melted and I was like yes sweetheart I will see you on Thursday and I hope you have those hugs and kisses waiting for me.....
So I keep on packing and the dislike for it keeps growing - less than 24 hours now until the removalists arrive - UGH panic is starting to set in.......
It is not the physical nature of the process, not the organisation structure that needs to be in place, not having help (though I have plenty of offers), not having enough boxes, etc.......it is the emotional rollercoaster that you hop onto when you decide to uproot yourself and move on.
This is a very big step for me.....I am going from being comfortable and familiar to the unknown....the only thing that I know is that my family is there so I have that support, but everything else is a very big step.....I have an extremely low self-esteem and low self confidence so this is a chance for me to start afresh and grow as a person and move forward......but still.....
Anyways packing and the emotional rollercoaster - going through all your possessions it brings up a lot of happy and sad memories.......can you believe I found assignments from highschool, what is with that, why do I still have them.....I found some treasured photos and jewelry that I thought I had lost......I also came across stuff that reminded me of different thing that have happened in my life, some that were not too pleasant.....I started thinking what do I get rid of and what do I keep......do I really truly need this???? It was like I was throwing a part of me away, but at other times it was quite cleansing......
Over the past few days I have changed my mind so many times about this move and new job that yesterday morning I decided nope that is it I am going to call up my old work (boy that sounds odd I only left there on Friday) and beg for my old job back and things can go back to normal and I can go back to my secure little existence.....and then the phone rang......
It was my sister and she was saying are you excited, how did it feel this morning to get up and not go to work and I grumbled back that I am still working my butt off packing and she goes I know - it is an awful job, remember that I did it less than a year ago. Then she says that someone wants to talk to you and it was my 2 and half year old niece Hailie - and she goes Hi Auntie Carolyn and chatters away - I picked up a word or two to be able to follow what she was trying to say (she has moved from 2 worded sentences to three worded sentences now - very cute) and then she was handing the phone back and goes love you and then says see Carolyn soon and my heart melted and I was like yes sweetheart I will see you on Thursday and I hope you have those hugs and kisses waiting for me.....
So I keep on packing and the dislike for it keeps growing - less than 24 hours now until the removalists arrive - UGH panic is starting to set in.......
posted by Carolyn @ 7:45 am
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